Bidets Are Gonna Save The World

I remember the first time I heard the word bidet. (pronounced Bih-Day)

It was Thanksgiving day, I was 14 and my sister, brother, dad, and I went up to see my family in New York.

My uncle kept hooting and hollering about this new addition to his bathroom. He got a toilet that wiped your ass for you! Well, a bidet doesn't actually wipe at all, it squirts your messy parts with an adjustable stream of water. I wasn't even into experimenting with my butt around that time, but still, the idea sounded soothing. I quickly chimed in about how I wanted to try it. Was that a little weird? I didn't think so, but my dad did.

"No, Ethan," he scolded, "Those are really for girls."

"What? Why?"

"They just are."

Something about the tone in his voice made me feel like it was odd I even asked, as if I had just asked him if it was ok if I started buying tampons. My uncle (who's goddamn thing this was in the first place) just sat there, quietly, after my dad made his comment.

I didn't understand why my dad found it so taboo. To me, a bidet was within the same vein as any other fixed household amenity, like a sink. Not something that should render much of an opinion, either way, let alone a gendered judgment.

My dad's way of thinking was a product of "the Patriarchy". For some reason, ideas like intimate cleanliness were saved for females, but not men. Other stereotypes include the weird one that guys shouldn't drink fruity drinks at bars. I mean, alcohol doesn't taste good no matter what, but for some reason men see this "uncomfortableness" when drinking as a badge of honor. Actually, there is a big reason why a lot of men think this way.

Conditions were far harsher back when the cornerstone generations (20's, 50's, 70's) of America were forming their addition. It didn't pay to be sensitive then. It paid to be good at manual labor. It paid to disregard whatever emotions you had about your job that were anti. You simply didn't have time to waste when feelings aren't as high up on the pedestal, as braun.

Braun has arguably been more important than brain and I’m not saying we haven't had smart people in our history books. But overall, they all were trying to tame this insatiable thirst men had for money. For more. I believe the rumble coming from the core of the world, right now, is not asking, but commanding men to get in touch with their feminine side. Modern day humanity has been thrown off kilter by the coddling of technology, we got a lot of braun but no one really knows what to do with it. We're sick of going to war, we are sick of being unhappy, but we are intent on doing what we enjoy. It's about time society catered to itself. Let technology be the slave while we take the time to learn about one another.

Telling a whole group of people how they ought to behave isn't accounting for mental mutations that very well could be aiding humanity in the next step of evolution. I would hope the future generations act differently than people in the past. Otherwise we would never progress.

Forget sex organs for a second, the word "masculine" is simply describing behaviors and characteristic that are (or were) typically observed in men. The word "feminine" is referring to the behaviors and characteristics that are typically observed in women.

Does everyone have varying levels of both masculine and feminine traits?


Does it kind of suck that men are associated with the negative side of this spectrum?


Is it, also, obvious that the Patriarchy (man led systems of governments) run this entire planet?

Also, yes.

Men, please man up for one second and accept as a collective that you deserve a little of this evil recognition. Your people as a whole really have been fucking this place. Yes, y'all are also responsible for a lot of the great things in this world, but if you have a big enough ego to believe in the positives that have come out from your leadership, there is the equal and opposite global detriment that you have caused, as well. It's science. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.

To me, the world really is completely different depending on who's looking at it and from where. From what and from when. Although, he admitted to trying a bidet, once, before in his life when he lived in Hong Kong, my dad reminded me of this really intelligent thing that was dulled into a caveman by the pressure caused by gravity.

The more advanced we get as a species be prepared to witness a lot of changes. People are literally feeling emotions today that have never been felt by past generations. No other moment in time has had these same conditions or, if you believe in predestination, we are still in the process of filling existence gaps within the electrical circuit of the universe, like some informant for the collective conscience.

My dad is a rational man. However, when I brought this incident up to him recently, he admitted he heard bidets were getting more popular, especially after the toilet paper shortage of 2020.

It is more practical to switch to this form of personal hygiene.

It is said that an average single person's lifetime supply of toilet-paper requires something like 384 trees. Switching to a paperless potty, just you alone, saves a decently, sized forest. Once "eco-friendly" becomes a necessity, and alternatives are taken more seriously, massive environmental efficiency will be realized within the bidet. People like my dad (rationally conservative) will have no choice but to adopt the vulnerable, washroom concept, inadvertently, increasing the sensitivity of many trapped and insecure men, everywhere.


**Force their welded brain clams open and remove the rusted muzzles they willingly wear for character development.**

You don't gotta be a hippy to save the forest and you don't need to be a sissy to enjoy a controlled splash on your butt.

Your hole is one of the most sensitive places on your body, you think you should be ashamed at enjoying its presence? I don't. Not only that, but some men don't even know the immense pleasure they are missing out on by not exploring their body fully because of some weird mental prison bars that have no business existing anymore. Having new experiences is how humans gain more knowledge. Imagine what would happen if more men opened up their brain to a whole variety of sensations. This would, inadvertently, add to the cardinal knowledge they have of themselves and the more you know about yourself, the closer you can get to becoming your best version.

Homophobia was a defense mechanism for the species of man, to keep the people reproducing. Along with it, came male body shaming. A lot of guys are literally brainwashed into thinking that if they enjoy butt-stuff they are automatically gay. It's as if they don't know their G spot is located in their anus. It makes one wonder who started this body shaming bandwagon in the first place.

Oh, yes. It started with religion.

If a whole group of people decided to trick the majority into not doing certain things by employing an invisible set of ethics it would be so they could soak up all the good vibes of the universe themselves. Seriously.

They are purposely creating terrible situations for intelligent life to live in and wait for the upswing in their end of positivity. Think about it. They are manipulating this idea of equal and opposite reactions. If they can get the majority of the world to live on the lower end of the spectrum regarding quality of life then they will be able to live on the other end. Keep peddling the lie it's bad to be with men, while the priests are grabbing the genitals of little boys. I'm confused as to why people listened to their religions for so long when the leaders showed so much wrong.  It is also evidence of how little advanced we are as a species, that with the capability to do absolutely anything they wanted to do in the world, their idea of riding the high end of the spectrum involved such sick sentiment. IF they were intelligent they would know the more united we are the farther we go. Love is the highest frequency and if we want to shoot for a higher status within our little matrix, we need to stop glorifying constricting mindsets.

Bidets sound simple, but the ideas behind them are far complex, environmentally and mentally.