(attraction is preference, but our bodies are neutral)
I had a college friend who I thought was gay.
Jordan was very feminine and the typical stereotype for a man who is not into pussy. He had the lisp, he had the wrist, on the surface, I would have assumed him to be strictly gay. Not that having primarily feminine mannerisms means that you are automatically gay, but when the topic came up, he explained to me that he identified as bi-sexual, just “mostly gay.”
This really struck a chord in me because I never heard of such a thing before.
“I am 90% gay and 10% straight,” he said.
I always thought you were either gay or straight but that was the moment I realized no person is only one thing ever!
It may sound dumb that it wasn’t until something as simple as the idea of sexuality being broken down into number ratios that I genuinely started to understand what is meant by the “fluidity” of sexuality. I started doing a little research on the subject of sex, in particular, bisexual males and what I discovered was rather interesting.
I have never heard of “love” being it’s own entity separate from sex, despite being well aware you don’t need one to experience the other. It makes sense, though, considering having sex and experiencing romance are two completely different things that aren’t inexplicably linked. The mental capacity to fall in love with the same sex is referred to as “homororomantic” and when falling in love with a person of the opposite sex, that is called “heteroromantic.”
A person who has sex with someone of the same sex is called a “homosexual” and someone who has sex with an individual of the opposite sex is called a “heterosexual.” Most people have heard of these latter terms but I think it is important to make the distinction between thoughts and actions.
This highlights the power of the human conscience, by separating it from the physical body. It is showing the brain its proper respect. I had a male director tell me once, “I have the small capability to fall in love with a man, therefore, I am 100% bisexual.”
Sexuality exists on a spectrum with the labels “gay” and “straight” acting as a North and South Pole.
When an individual is subjectively placed on a scale of sexuality, rarely, if at all, do they exist in either extreme end of the spectrum.
Most life is not sustainable in extreme conditions. Most people are not completely straight.. Who’s trying to box in attarction? Whether we like it or not that is precisely what’s going on when we make friends and decide who we are going to be spending most of our time with. On some level you are attracted to your friends... get over it.
The words “gay” or “straight” are just labels of measurement for perspective in regards to an action (sex with a male or female), but calling a person (or yourself) is giving definitive attributes to an ever changing organism.
We have made a mistake in modern culture by attaching the terms “gay” or “straight” to people and not to their individual actions. Greek culture celebrated this version of classification. A person is neither gay or straight unless they are in the middle of an action. It’s really neat that they were able to draw such a dinstictive and mature line in the sand about their identities. People nowadays are going crazy trying to define the sexual world, but perhaps the problems is, some times something pure wants to be left just like that. Water is best from a running spring and not a distillary. People need to forget the invisible concepts of gender, accept their genetalia unless they truly just fucking can’t, and fuck who they need to fuck or what they need to get off with just to have a more sound idea of who everyone is sexually, because modern culture is letting me the fuck down with it’s oppression-define yourself so you pass the IQ test of knowing exactly who you are at a young age.. I don’t know myself becuase I am changing and that is my mentality.
A person is not the worst thing they have ever done. That is no way to judge a multidimensional being. So why as a so
ciety do we enjoy capping and boxing each other up?
Labeling things is how we as people practice social efficiency but it is capitalistic on the human spirit and in the long run prohibits growth all around.
I bring up the worst thing somones ever done becuase it seems like in male culture in america if you have sex with men and other men know it they automatically treat you a certain way. It’s just fax. I don’t blame them, if they have never beeen with a man then I sort of judge them myself. Multiple orgasms being expeirenced only by a woman is a fiction, btw. oh, and the patriarchy has had their hand in history as well, it was definitly Adam who ate the apple not Eve, and used his sinister new understanding to spell the world out as he wish.
Perhaps, if we can mentally conquer something we feel we can get more use out of it. If you know the complete function of a person or a group of people, then you would be able to control them better.
The reality of the situation are the two ideas (“Gay and “Straight”) bleed into one another. Sorta like how the science behind measuring temperatures works. Hot and cold are just perspective holders but nothing is ever just one thing.
The two extremes of degrees (“Hot” and “Cold”) meet and combine at a point of equilibrium. For instance, when a warm blanket touches cold skin, the person’s body doesn’t just get warmer, but in the process, it gives its coldness to the blanket in return and the overall temperature of the blanket gets lowered, as well.
This exchange is more properly measured using ratios. The person’s temperature meets the blankets temperature to form a completely new temperature that is then shared by both parties. That is essentially the same thing in regards to human sexuality.
The mind and body meet at a place of equilibrium on the spectrum but that equilibrium is only possible if the individual possesses both sides of the equation. In other words, whatever amount of “straight” a person is, the inverse amount must also be true to complete the percentage.
The human body, by nature, is neutral to sexual stimulation. It reacts the same no matter what the stimulus is coming from, man or woman.
I was talking to my “straight friend” about how if a man came and sucked his dick right now for
long enough he would reach orgasm.
He said “duh, it’s a mouth
but I’m still straight because I want a woman doing it.”
And that was my AHA moment. The body is naturally just a big sexual spectacle capable of getting off in every way under the sun. The brain is what decides wha
t is desirable to us. That is it.
We don’t have sexual orientations, we have sexual preferences. We have urges and we have choices. We have inclinations. Just like someone would have a favorite food. Some people love a certain food so much they decide to eat nothing else for the rest of their life.
Like the guy who only eats macaroni and cheese. I mean, sure, the body needs food just like
it needs physical release but his preference is so strong it became part of his lifestyle. He wouldn’t introduce himself as someone who eats “Mac and cheese only”…. So why do we think who we want to fuck is important enough of a subject to wear it on our sleeves?
In fact, this idea of labeling ourselves based on our sexuality is a relatively new development brought on by western culture. Ancient Greece is known for its progressiveness when it comes down to human sexuality. They understood that as human beings, we have a consciousness that enables us to be capable of doing and thinking a large variety of things. In fact, they believed in the idea of endless human potential so much so that they never attached sexuality labels to themselves at all. No person was considered “gay” or “straight.”
Instead, a particular ac
tion was labeled as such. The world needs to start adopting a mentality that doesn’t connect sexuality and identity so concretely.
Identity is not this fixed thing. It doesn’t live in a category.
It changes with us as we grow and mature. The labels we choose to call ourselves mean so much but at what cost?
Think of people like a seed and identity as the pot in which the seed is planted.
At a certain point, when the plant grows too big it is time to change it to a new pot. Be careful about cementing yourself in any one pot.
You might be capping your growth process before it even starts.